So I said to myself, “Self…”
(draft made around oct ‘05)
I realized that I’m now beginning to find a new song that starts playing in my heart. There is a new twinkle in my eyes that is starting to flicker. And when I laugh… I geniunely laugh with gusto, not because I manipulate my focus on the positive side of life, not because I chose to dwell on joy, not because I am over-riding a feeling, but because I genuinely can.
It seems that trials come in a procession. There is just but enough moment for you to catch your breath, and once more something turns up. That is why, sometimes I find myself a little paranoid that maybe around the bend another ‘challenge’ would pounce on me.
After the whole ‘drama’ (ahahah…naks!), I never give any deep thought for another possibility. But, suddenly the probability of opening myself again is thrown at me. I have never really thought about it for a while now. Wow, it’s funny what kind of ponderings I come up with while waiting for sleep to overtake me! I ask myself now, ‘Am I ready?’ Even tho’ i know that a person’s mistake cannot be someone else’s penance, somehow my views changed, if not marred.
But, now that sleep is beckoning me…I have come to a conclusion. This dillydallying is something I can procrastinate. Push it back to the recesses of my subconscious mind, and deal with it only once the situation is actually at hand.
So upon wondering I said to myself, "Self, live life without any worries. Live life with just the necessary, can’t-be-help concerns. Sing! Laugh! Be merry! Live!"
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