a click for my thoughts

Out of the desire to ‘think out loud’ (my version of thinking-out-loud) and being prompted with a question…

What comes after ‘love’? It depends, doesn’t it? What comes after ‘cessation’? It still depends. But for me, a relationship gone awry would definitely be follwed by healing. Well, at least in my past experience it did follow. And then… afterwards, a party begins! I am single again! (Hey, why party when in a relationship and not when you’re single when in fact being single has it’s advantages worth enjoying?)

Ooops! Scratch that. I am unattached. So after healing (which happened for me in a quite decent amount of time–beats the length I was expecting. Thank God for the inspiration that drove me to focus on moving forward! I-am-unique technique works very well for me…but that strategy is another story that requires quite a detailed flashback, hence it wouldn’t be disclosed in this entry.), I found myself in the stage of total acceptance and then freedom. (When I say freedom, I do not mean that relationship means confinement. I am not against being in a relationship. In fact, I think it’s wonderful! I enjoyed my brief experience–and I can say that without sarcasm. But, again, defining ‘freedom’ is another subject which will not be included here.)

Allow me to slightly flashback a moment: I have long been recovered from my past ‘injuries’ (naks!). I moved on looong time ago. (Oh, don’t get me wrong…I did consider him special. But I think it is safe to say that my life is so much more than spending a lengthy pining session. No, I am not bitter or resentful. I am just being blunt. I mean, to anyone out there who have a recent ‘ex’ and are ‘grieving’ over what may be considered as a loss and yet can’t do anything or won’t do anything…here’s something to do: quit crying over spilled milk you either refuse to wipe off or you have already wiped off. It’s ok and natural to have that melancholic, ‘longing-for-you’ moment, but don’t prolong yourself in such state or else there is so much in life you’ll miss…and who knows this ‘ex’ may one day be a part of what life will offer you. – just a suggestion unsought for, yet given anyway) But I was asked recently with a question: is there already new chapter?

*Smiles* There is certainly going to be a new chapter, but it depends what that new chapter means. New Chapter:

a) Next chapter; the answer to the question: What happens after healing? –Then my answer would be a yes.

b) A new object of affection, either becoming or already is –To which I answered no.

For me, right now, the new chapter is what happens after moving-on –this chapter I am already living: New Chapter (a). A chapter of enjoying the present life given me. It is a joy to be in this chapter. I have grown…well, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, socially, and (yeah, yeah) physically. I live ( and I mean not just mere breathing and conscious) even with the total of money I have in my pocket and my bank account appears to be in the lesser digits. It is living with no shadows hanging about, welcoming possibilities with eagerness. And, from time to time, be swayed in the slow, even flow of life. I may be unattached (so, definitely single) but this new chapter (a) is not without love. I cherish the moments I spend with my friends and family. I try to maintain the ties I have with those who are miles away from where I am. And tho’ unattached, I am still exposed to the giggles and the griefs one finds in a relationship. Being unattached did not strip me with the privillege of hearing my friends’ stories about their own woes and ‘yeys!’. I don’t have to be in a relationship to share with them their happy moments. I don’t have to be in a relationship either to empathize with their pain. I just have to be a friend. And all these things are worth partying about. Ok maybe not literal party, but you know what I mean.

As for New Chapter (b), it’ll come if it wants to. If it will, I shall await. When it does, I shall try to do better. Oh, I’ll be excited too, as well as savor its wonderful moments. ^_^ But right now, it’s a mystery that I shall indulge to keep myself in suspense…hahahaha.

(Abangan ang susunod na kabanata…)

~ by klengsfile on November 11, 2006.