a click for my thoughts

Paraphrased and modified excerpt from one of my incomplete journals:

(August 2005)

We shouldn’t make promises we can’t keep. I mean most of us really don’t. It’s just that we end up breaking them.There are promises we whole-heartedly mean to keep, but somehow, due to circumstances along the way, we ended up failing to keep them.

These ‘unavoidable’ circumstances, are they reasonable excuses or alibi that will justify our shortcomings and understandable failures? Or are they mere crutches to ease our conscience?

No one on this earth can be certain of what the future brings. We may have a general or vague idea of what we intend to have and accomplish for tomorrow, but we never know for sure the outcome or what lies ahead. Does this fact, then, disqualifies us from making promises? Does it necessarily limit the promises we make?

Take the promise like "There’ll be no one else for me but you" as an example. Is it something reserved to be uttered before the altar only? I mean what if the couple are really not meant for each other, how does the person who made that promise going to honor his/her word? Will he/she remain single after the relationship is over? How about, "I will always love you"? What if his/her partner cheats and lies, can love continually bloom in a relationship infested with deception or deceit? And what about "I will always be here/there for you"? What will happen when physical distance or death separates them? How is the promise going to be honored? Or would that be counted against the giver of the promise?

Or maybe every promise is relative to the recipients knowledge of the giver of that promise. Perhaps it’s relative to the maker’s integrity and character. Maybe it’s relative to the recipients understanding of that promise. Maybe it is also relative to the behavior of both the giver and the receiver of the promise. If so, then promises are conditional.

Is it possible to love dearly and want something so much that it resembles a promise like these? Can one make a promise such as these based on what he/she is certain at the very moment he/she is making the promise?

I know I am not certain of what the future exactly holds for me, and I can not predict what lies ahead. However, what I have right now is a certainty of what I already know and feel based on my past and present. But then again, it is still subject to argument and perhaps change, for today passes to tomorrow. Where is the guarantee of tomorrow (that will eventually become today) in a promise given based on a knowledge of today (which possibly is subject to change, for it will surely then become yesterday)?

Are we then going to fall back on our usual recesses and say, "We are but humans, subject to mistakes"? But this statement makes sense. I am not saying it is wrong to acknowledge our frailty as humans, and I am not being unrealistic either. Yet again, as humans we never seem to conquer the fear of taking responsibility for our failures. We either step off the line as quickly as possible hoping the last person standing gets the blame. Or, we put the blame to uncontrollable situations, fate, or human nature–like the statement mentioned above.

So how can someone depend on a promise given based on a moment that will change? How can someone depend on a promise given when all things are subject to change?

It seems we cannot make a promise that is without a disclaimer or conditions attached to it. So, a promise is then conditional to the claimer’s choice and response. Perhaps it’s much better to put "if" in every promise we make for " ‘if’ is conditional to faithfulness and obedience".

As humans, we cannot keep promises on our own. But through God we will be able to.

I can still depend on a person’s promise based on his/her integrity and on trust that has been established, not based on a moment. Trusting God’s promise, on the other hand, is apart form trusting men’s words. While upon trusting human’s uttered vows, I take the risk of getting disappointed due to the fact that all of us are subject to change and failure. But trusting God’s is a guaranteed certain, and unchanging–something I can fully count on without reservation.

And even if I have a nature that is subject to failure, I can still make a promise based on my truest and noblest intentions of keeping it, in certainty of what I hope to accomplish, and in hope that my certainty is not as finicky as change itself. I can make a promise, not because I know what exactly will happen, but based on what I am sure of (up to this moment) and in hope of what I have envisioned tomorrow. I can still make promises, trusting my God will help me in keeping them.

And I can count on a promise, not because I disregard the possibility of that person failing me, but trusting that he/she will keep his/her word. (And if he/she doesn’t keep his/her word despite meeting all conditions…it’s a disappointment I will have to deal, with but it will be his/her credibility to rebuild.)

~ by klengsfile on December 26, 2006.